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02 May 2010

I am not a chew toy!!!

We finished the coop up on Thursday (of last week - ya, I know I've been a rather lazy blogger.  I kind of got the feeling that I was getting all whiney, bistchy, and listy....and I thought "That's a really boring read!" So, I waited out the whine, bitsch, and list and now, hopefully I'm back onto story time. It's really difficult not to be listy when we have a donkey ass-load of projects going on around here....) and I debated if Surgeon should be allowed the length of his lead to sufficiently guard the chickens or if he should take some time to get use to them. 

 I went against my better judgement and let him have the ENTIRE length of his lead.

oh.my.shitakemushrooms.

That was one VERY stressful couple of hours for me! I think I made my throat sore from correcting the dog so much (which we do by "growling" at him. *clears throat* *best growly voice*  BAAAAAAAAAA!!! It sounds like I have sheep Turrets (sorry, folks with Turrets - it's not a nice thing to have and I really mean no harm..   I really don't.  Really.  What?  It's just a freaking ANALOGY!) Whatever, it freaking WORKS!!!)

I have protected my future egg layers and chicken breast, thighs, wings, and legs from our sneaky ass cat, curious dogs, the weather, and now monster puppy.  *drool* mmm fried homegrown chicken....

I curled up with my lap top to keep an eye on things and it quickly became clear that I wasn't going to get ANY work done.  Every time I looked up he was playfully running after them --scaring the crap out of them-- pawing at the fence/chewing the fence/doing cute puppy lunges --which he just couldn't understand why the fence was in his way-- and generally just being a puppy.

I was in a sore mood and I'm afraid I over handled him.  I would growl at him from the couch and when he seemed extremely over-enthusiastic I would go out there and growl and alpha roll him.  

Yes, Cesar Milan has invaded my life.  damnit. 

But with a dog THIS BIG (holds a semi-shaky level hand to about my waist.  Most people have not idea what an Anatolian Shepherd is.  So, I have to go into a long explanation and answer "Well, how big will he be?"  And I always feel a bit self conscious and silly when I hold a hand up to the top of my thigh or at my waist....because I'm 5.10 and  3/4.  That's right FRACTIONS.  Besides, I am SO. NOT. AN. ATTENTION. WHORE. NO.NO.NO!  Now, back to your regularly scheduled anxiety, paranoia, and general nervousness.) I am unsure of what else to do, since he has no idea what the word NO means!  He seemed to get the message.  Meanwhile, I felt like a complete ass and an abusive dog parent.  But hey, no one touches my freaking dinner!

Surgeon is coming along nicely, though I am sad to say I may have to put a stop to his puppy play with me.  That shit hurts!  I am afraid, not of him, but that as he gets bigger his play will only get more rough and I will walk away with more scratches and irritation.  I will simply have to stop.  I am not a chew toy. 

OUCH